Monday, March 12, 2007
OK, not that "productivity" is the goal. I mean, we live life just to LIVE it, right? Seizing the moment and its pleasures and pains? Or have I got it all wrong? I think my job is interfering with my brain. I knew that all along, but it was confirmed by an article I just read in our local paper, about the downside of multi-tasking. It seems my IQ is fluctuating. I knew it! I'm constantly interrupted by phone calls just as I begin to compose an art show press release or figure out a budget. People burst in wanting to talk with me just when I start on a big re-filing task. Sometimes I can't think of what to do next when I KNOW there are several urgent requests or looming deadlines. I have for the past two years or so congratulated myself for training myself to switch my attention easily, and for remaining "pleasant" while doing it. I have taken pride in relinquishing perfectionism, and perhaps even mere high standards in favor of not pissing anyone off! I do so want to be LIKED, since my "abrasive" personality has been a factor in losing jobs in the past. But gosh, I can't get anything DONE these days, let alone done well. And I know this mode of being at work has affected my ability to concentrate on ANYTHING when I get home. My willpower only goes so far; it gets me to the gym and keeps me there for a while. What a relief to be able to put one foot in front of the other repeatedly without anyone (including myself) bugging me about doing something else instead! So, then I'm supposed to go home, grab a snack, and work on my THESIS? I don't think so. And now I know it's not my fault, it's that my IQ is (temporarily) lowered due to the nature of my job. Nice to have something to blame!
Posted by Marylyn